"My Mother is my bridge. When I needed to get across, she steadied herself long enough for me to run across safely."
She is my Mother
She is a brave Warrior,
Using her bare body to protect me from stormy days like an armour,
No amount of rain or shine can stop her,
For her love for me has no barrier.
She is a patient Gardener,
Planting and sowing the only seed in her life,
No matter how long or hard it takes,
She believes and loves with all her heart as the most dutiful caretaker.
She is a wonderful Mother,
The role model I look up to in awe,
Touching and warming up each day of my life like no others,
Mum I just want to say having you as my mum is my pleasure!
She is my Mother,
Like my Mother, like her Daughter,
I will live a life worthy to God’s calling,
So that she will be proud of me as her Darling.
The week of blessings and miracles
I made it into Ntu Sociology :) thanks to my Lord’s endless love and faith for me. I would not have made it so far if not because of God and his Grace towards me and the cow angel.
Finally I saw the fruits that I had sowed 3 years ago, those struggles and sacrifices were real. And of course thanks to the countless blessings I had received during this harsh period of my life. Despite the toughness, I thank God for his love for me, putting me in situations that really polish and mould me into a woman of better character and attitude. My Father really loves me by moving me 3 times this period, which enables me to pick up so many life lessons that a normal kid would not have gone through.
And also another miracle by God, my family finally got our 2 room rental flat. It was a tough fight as well, but I thank you for reserving the best house that he felt that is meant for us and help us prosper in that house of God. It was at central location and all I hope is safety and peace upon our family and our home.
As expected, my life is never a smooth sailing one. Despite the miracles, I received a very big blow this evening that really broke my heart. Probably he is right, even if I got into Ntu my current family situation is still remained bad and unstable. I really don’t know how to deal with these blows but to be sad and disappointed that despite the efforts put in to savage our ties, his actions would only harden my heart further, and stabbing my open wounds deeper and deeper. Father, I pray that there will be financial blessings coming to my family and also please strengthen my family bond. Father, please shield me from this hurt that my father has inflicted on me again and again but I thank you that I still have a loving and good heavenly Father. Amen.
Life is like a box of chocolates
This week is coming to an end. No news from NTU yet, keeping my anxiety level high and moods crazy. However, finally we received news on our housing and finally the day is coming.. I do not dare to put my hopes high, but just keep my mind open so as to prepare myself from the upcoming changes and uncertainty.
The last few rocky years have taught me not to put in too much hope for anything, so that I will not fall so deep and so low as before. There is no excitement no anticipation no joy but simply accepting whatever it comes with a neutral attitude.
This is a transitional period of my life, my friends repeatedly drill this into my mind. But till now I cannot understand what exactly should I anticipate during this period? Excited for my future? Or dread the reality of being an adult? Anticipate those uncontrollable life routes? Or drafting up a backup plan? Dare to dreams again? Crush silly dreams?
I dont know and I don’t want to know. My mind is like experience airplane turbulence… Clouded from the path ahead. Mysterious in a scary scary way. Am I going to take flight and land safely? Or am I going to crash into the mountains or ocean? Will I survive or will I perish with unfulfilled dreams?
Life is like a box of chocolates.. You will never know what kind of chocolate you will pick next. I have gotten too many rotten ones, I hope the next one will be my favorite milk chocolate.
Winnie the girl wishing for a sweet chocolate
"She always had that about her, that look of otherness, of eyes that see things much too far, and of thoughts that wander off the edge of the world."
Joanne Harris (via girlinlondon)
Oh, Come and be my Knight
Come and be my Knight,
Hold me close and tight,
Cos nothing is going right,
And I am all alone this dreadful night.
Who can hear my whispering,
Getting softer and softer in hearing,
Drowning in my misery,
Slowly disappearing like mystery.
Frustration go away,
Hatred hides in my doorway,
Leading my thoughts astray,
Leaving me in a magnitude of gray.
Come and be my Light,
Empower me to put on a fight,
To defeat the darkness during the night,
So that we can be reunited, Knight!
Love me oh my Knight,
Please come and be my Light,
Pull me through my darkest nights,
Only with you I will be alright!
"If you really want to stay open, pay attention when you feel love and enthusiasm. Then ask yourself why you can’t feel this all the time. Why does it have to go away? The answer is obvious: it only goes away if you choose to close. By closing, you are actually making the choice not to feel openness and love. You throw away love all the time. You feel love until somebody says something you don’t like, and then you give up the love. You feel enthused about your job until someone criticizes something, and then you want to quit. it’s your choice. You can either close because you don’t like what happened, or you can keep feeling love and enthusiasm by not closing. As long as you keep defining what you like and don’t like, you will open and close. You are actually defining your limits. You are allowing your mind to create triggers that open and close you. Let go of that."
Michael Singer (via illuminatedbeing)