Counting my blessings
As the end of semester is approaching, I am getting anxious and moody due to the growing stress and hectic deadlines. But I am really thankful that there is a bunch of friends in NTU that I can really rely on and share my worries & burdens with.
The one that I can depend fully on without a tinge of doubt is my beloved Theresa Chew. Totally tolerant to my emotional insecurity and horrible sleeping patterns, I thank you this best friend that never fail to compromise when I am feeling down or emo. Giving me ample of encouragement and sharing the deepest stories of our lives, I really thank God for this irreplaceable mate of my life. I really don’t mind being forever alone with you, haha. <3
Zhen Mei is probably the sweetest, most compromising and understanding friend I ever met hitherto. She is amazingly gentle, sweet and ever encouraging. She has played a very significant part of my hall life, supporting me and sharing many of first times with me. Holding a girl’s hand during club, sitting in the cabin of MRT studying, sharing couple seat in movie, explored haunted house together, taking care of me when I was awfully drunk in hall, listening to my endless rants, making me feel so loved when I am at my lowest in hall, protecting me from any insults. Thank you Zhen Mei, you really have the most beautiful heart ever. You are the most amazing person I have met this year. TYJ, I am really blessed. :) <3
Xin Hui is the amazing mentor and sister whom I can totally depend on and seek advice from no matter how minor or complicated the issues may be. She has mad e me grow so much during these few months and I feel so blessed to be able to work and learn from her every time I meet her. She just never fail to give me insights or touch my heart. :) She always reminds me the joy and blessing of being a child of God and really makes me look forward and yearn to serve God more and more. Thank you for being such an inspirational sister. TYJ for this amazing amazing sister in Christ. <3
To the whole bunch of my beloved Foodie mates, thank you so much for being there for me no matter how stressed, busy or tired I am. You guys are always there listening to me rant, cheering me up, motivating me, never fail to put a smile on my face despite my long day whenever we meet. You guys are my escape from this busy and hectic uni life. TYJ for all the moments we shared and the friendships that just keep on growing stronger. Gerald, Crystal, Cass & Steph I really love you all. <3 Can’t wait for our KL trip in December.
And of course I won’t not be able to survive my semester without two of my most amazing classmates that I can always depend on during boring classes, torturous lectures and hang out during the ever-so-short lunch breaks. TYJ for Sakino and Josephine, both whom I can trust and heart to heart talks with. Thank you for their presences and the stuff we can share on top of our studies. <3
Last but not least, I want to thank two amazing guy friends of mine whom have left a significant mark in my life this semester.
Without Zhen Mei and Adi, my hall life would definitely be so much more dull, miserable and empty. Thank you Adi for being such a sweet and amazing friend, that is always taking care of me and reminding me to have my meals on time, waking me up for morning lessons and sending me chocolates when I am down. TYJ for all the moments we shared, from mugging, to hall stuff, to making cards, to htht, to night walk. Thank you for sharing with me your stories and willing to listen to mine and not judging me. Thank you Adi, you are definitely a star in my life. Please keep on shining and never lose your brightness for you are really an amazing person. <3
Last but no least, TYJ for this most annoying but unforgettable friend of my life hitherto, LHS. Even though this bad ass friend of mine is always making fun of me and annoying me with mean comments, I can’t believe that I still appreciate his presence. Thank you meanie LHS for his occasionally caring and thoughtful moments which really made me feel very touched. Even though we share very different thoughts in life, and probably are at the opposite of each end, I am thankful that he is honest and willing to point out my weaknesses and stuff without judging me. Even though he witnessed so many of my cui and malu moments, I really appreciate that he is still willing to be there for me. And the most amazing thing about him is he never fail to deliver what he promised with his best. Thank you for being such a special friend, you are worth it too. <3
I really believe that I will not be able to survive and enjoy my university life up to now without all these amazing friends that have blessed me greatly from the smallest acts and guided me through obstacles and insecurities. Thank you Father for all these angels and stars of my life. But Father, thank you for being the greatest rock and brightest star of my life. <3 Father I give you all the glory and praise for all these amazing souls of my life. Father, I pray that you will blessed each and every one of them with abundance and wisdom in their studies and lives, fill them with endless love and grace, and keep on strengthening our friendships from glory to glory.
In Jesus’s precious name, Amen.
The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure. (1 Corinthians 10:13)
"Whenever I say “I’m okay”, I wish somebody would hug me and say, “I know you’re not.”"
33 Miles - Hold on (by Birdiej89)
Just give me your hand, and hold on. :) Beautiful saviour, perfect lover. TYJ!
Out of darkness, a light warrior rose
Just a couple of more weeks to the end of my first semester of year 1 in NTU life. Can’t imagine that much has passed and how my perspectives of many issues have changed over the past 2-3 months.
The most drastic change is probably my priorities in life. No longer that lost towards in my gloomy direction-less future and easily swayed by changing factors of my life, but I find myself more passionate and clear towards the future I am heading, towards the cause that I always feel that is my calling. Despite the loss of the emotional stronghold in my life, I find myself picking myself up from the breakup, the trauma and of course start to find myself worthy to be loved again.
At first, I struggled so much. I struggled with the emptiness in my heart which I longed to fill it with love again. I struggled with the endearing memories that often crept up to me despite locking them up in the deepest part of my heart. I struggled with the urge to find someone, just to fill in the bleeding spot of my heart. I struggled being alone. I struggled that I no longer I have someone to lean on. I struggled that things and people around me keep changing, but there is nothing constant in my heart that I can hold on to, as if I am slipping into the matrix of life, changing every moment. I struggled to embrace new friendships as they disappoint me with the shedding of their many layers of masks and hidden motives. I struggled to keep close to God because of betrayal, disappointment of someone so close. I struggled to keep up with my life in the first few weeks of uni, through the ups and downs of my emotions every single day.
Despite these struggles, the only constant in my life is holding on to God. Confessing to Him again and again that I will walk His way despite how unwillingly I am inside. I chose not to let myself dwell on the pain and self pity but to give thanks to God each time He blessed me and answered my prayers. Sometimes it takes time, sometimes I need to go through tribulations and sufferings, but my God is a faithful God, because He never fail me and always put me through situations in life for a reason.
The people who walked in darkness have seen a great light; those who dwelt in the land of the shadow of death, upon them a light has shined. Isaiah 9:2
Father, I have walked through the land of shadow of death, and in the mist of the dark tunnel I have seen no light, but I kept walking and walking because a tiny voice had called upon me not to give up. I said a prayer and made a promise if I ever stepped out of the operation theatre alive, I would do my best to pay forward the blessings and love others have endowed on me. Miraculously, the first thing I saw when I get out of the valley of death, was bright light. Super bright light. A light so bright that lit up the long white washed corridors of the hospital. I could not see You of course because it was so bright, but Father, I know that You are there, giving me the hope and light you promised me when I walked out of the darkness. Father, my life is a miracle. And it has not been this way if not for Your love and mercy. Thank you for choosing me as Your precious child, made me the warrior that has walked in darkness and seen a truly great light.
Even if greater sufferings and more tribulations are coming my way, Father, I still declare confess that I am going to walk Your way. I want to bear the cross with You and share Your suffering.
For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light (for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) and find out what pleases the Lord. Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness but rather expose them. Ephesians 5:8-11
Thank you Father for this word of the day. I thank you for the mark of bravery and triumph across the whole of my back, reminding the miracle of my life and also the need of cross bearing. Till the day I see Your face, I will commit myself in doing good, reaching out to the poor and the needy and bring glory to Your Kingdom no matter what it takes. I will be patient and obedient and even if my heart tells me otherwise and the whole world denies me, I will stand rooted in my faith for You and continue to walk Your way. Father, I pray that You will relieve my heartache and give me a sign to be open or close the door for this man that I think I have fallen for. Father, I also pray for happiness and true love for him.
And in Jesus, precious name, amen.
You should go do them.